It was just like another day at the office – parting goodbye with my colleague as I was making my way to the front door to leave for the day.
He mentioned how he never enjoyed driving to which I replied that I had a bad temper when it came to driving from time to time.
And his response surprised me, to be honest.
“Really? I have never thought you were the type of person who would get frustrated at traffic.”
I chuckled at this comment that my colleague made.
PLUS, another colleague turned in and said, “Siska, are you really?”
Yes I am. I am never a fan of driving. I used to have a bad temper when it came to driving in the past.
When I heard their comments, I felt flattered that they believed that I was not a type of person who would get frustrated, EVER – but on one hand, this also reminded me of the popular saying, : Judge the book by its cover.
It is so easy to comment on the outside appearance, whether it be a person, a book, a house just to name a few – however when we get to know what truly are laying inside, we often are surprised to discover how different things are.
There was one time when I saw someone pulling a finger, not sure at who, when driving – and instead of judging him, I wished him well and to have a good day ahead. He might have had a bad start to the day, I don’t know.
When I notice that I am making a judgment inside my head, I quickly reflect back on the 4 Questions as suggested by Byron Katie in her book on “Loving What Is”.
- Is this true?
- Can I absolutely know that this is true?
- How do I feel when I believe that this is true?
- Who would I be without this thought?
It is our attachment to our uninvestigated thoughts which is the source to our stress or frustration or pain or whatever it is you choose to call it.
Everyone has a story and it might not be what we think they are. So, be kind. ALWAYS.