Have you ever found yourself comparing yourself with someone else?
I have. Numerous times.
I bet when we are comparing ourselves with someone else, the most likely outcome is we end up feeling down about ourselves.
Last time I compared myself to others, I felt worthless. I felt like there was no point in continuing doing this. I then felt bad about feeling this way. My inner voice was telling me that I should know better not to feel this way and yet still fall to the same trap again and again.
I screamed out of my lungs. I hugged my pillow and cried. I sat with the feeling for a while. Again, I turned to my favourite 4 questions and investigated this feeling. (Please read my previous post on ‘Loving What Is’).
Q1: Is this true, that I should not feel bad about feeling this way? That I am not good enough? of course!
Q2: Can you absolutely know that this is true? Hm. Who am I to say, or rather, who said that we are not allowed to feel certain ways? As the answer to this is not 100% yes, it is a NO.
Q3: How do you feel when you believe that this is true? I feel frustrated. not good enough.
Q4: Who would you be without these thoughts? I would be content and be at peace with myself. I would go on and just do it my way without a single care.
Q5: Can I see any stress-free reasons to drop these thoughts, that I should not feel bad about feeling this way, that I am not good enough? Does having these thoughts create stress or peace in my mind? No. and having these thoughts frustrated me.
Having investigated my thoughts, again, I realised it is my attachment to believing that “I am not good enough and that I should not be feeling this way” which made me frustrated.
I also came to the realisation now that I cannot compare my starting point to those who have been doing it for years. Even when I compare my starting point to someone who is exactly at the same shoes as me, do I know their whole story?
Stand in front of a mirror and gaze directly at your own eyes, what would you say to yourself?
Be kind to yourself. ALWAYS.