I love reading books on personal growth. And my latest conquer is ‘Loving What Is” by Byron Katie.
My biggest take-away from her book is that our so-called “problems” stem from our attachment to our uninvestigated thoughts.
Please read on.
She suggested that when a thought arises, get curious, investigate it by asking these 4 questions:
- Is this true?
- Can I absolutely know that this is true?
- How do I feel when you believe that this is true?
- Who would I be without this thought?
and the below, if required :
- Can I see any stress-free reasons to drop this thought? Does having this thought create stress or peace in my mind?
So I gave myself a mission : pick an “uninvestigated” thought and investigate it.
Thought/Problem : I am SO frustrated with my ongoing neck pain. It does not seem to want to go away. Will it ever go away? I have spent quite a fair bit in physios, massage but none has given me a permanent healing.
Q1: Is this true, that my neck pain does not want to go away? of course! I have been having this pain for over a year or so now.
Q2: Can you absolutely know that this is true? cannot agree with it 100% though. It might go away at any given time. So the answer to this question is, no, I cannot absolutely know that this is trued that my pain does not want to go away.
Q3: How do you feel when you believe that this is true? I feel frustrated. I did not want to get up from bed because as soon as I get up from bed my pain will start making itself known.
Q4: Who would you be without this thought? I would be content and be at peace with myself. I would look forward to enjoying my day.
Q5: Can I see any stress-free reasons to drop this thought, that my pain does not want to go away? Does having this thought create stress or peace in my mind? No. and having this thought makes me suffer.
Having broken down/investigated my thought about my pain, I realised that it is my attachment to this thought is the cause to my frustration. Sure my neck is in pain. But it never says that it will stay there all my life, doesn’t it? it is all in the mind. And I unconsciously chose to believe it. My ‘bad’ side of ego wanted to attach itself to this uninvestigated belief and loved making me feel worse. But, hello ego, now that I had this awareness, I was free to choose if I wanted to continue being frustrated, or, let it be and be at peace with myself. I chose the latter.
Now, I invite you all to apply the above questions whenever you have a situation or a bad thought arising. Let me know how it goes in the comment below!
Looking forward to hearing what you have learned by applying these questions!